Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Pregnancy Weeks 8 -9 & Some Thoughts

The Pregnancy
Week 8- This week dragged on forever.  I had to return to the doctor for another checkup because I felt something wasn't right, as if I still had some sort of infection. Turns out my instincts were correct and I once again have a UTI, or more likely, just have the same one from before.  I have been put on medication for it again and have been praying that no matter what God will take it away because oddly enough, the nurse told me that if I got another UTI they wouldn't treat it until the time of delivery, does that make sense?  Fortunately when I went to the doctor I was given another quick ultrasound, on a very old machine, but nonetheless he said everything looked fine.  Praise God!
     Well besides the nausea, frequent use of the loo, and tiredness, not much has changed at all except one thing.  This change hit me hard and fast and that's emotions, which I'll explain a little bit later. I did not get enough sleep one day from a huge day of weddings and the next day had to spend another long stretch of time at church.  I was hitting rock bottom in my sleep quota and started crying and feeling terribly sick that day and had to go home.  I definitely will not push myself again.

My 8 week 4 day scan, measuring 8 weeks 3 days that morning.  Dr. J said everything looked great.

Week 9-  Thankful that this is my last week in the single digits and that time might actually move a little quicker.  My next prenatal appointment isn't until another 3 weeks from now but in just another 9 short weeks or so I'll find out what I'm having! I'll finally be able to start preparing a room in the house for the baby and know what types of things to buy.  The house search is still up in the air, but I know the Lord will help us find what we need, when we need it, for His timing is perfect.  As for symptoms I feel as though I feel the same all the time. Really nothing is different but I've been feeling a little more nauseous than usual and it comes at such random times.  I am ready for the second trimester already!

My Thoughts
First of all, it is the weirdest thing, I hardly feel pregnant at all.  If it weren't for the ultrasounds, ever so mild nausea, increased need to pee, and most importantly lack of a period, I honestly wouldn't know I was pregnant at all. I don't even feel like my belly is growing that much, although, that could be from the fact I am always in my pajamas since I'm a stay at home mom.  When you don't need to go out in public and put on regular clothes, I guess its hard to tell the difference when you're not trying to zip up or button your pants.
     Anyway, I feel as though the emotional aspect of my pregnancy is starting to kick in.  The part where I feel bad for myself that I'm going to get "fat" again, the part where if someone doesn't say "hi" to me I cry instantly, the part where I think "Am I in over my head?", and the part where I think "Does anyone actually care about how I'm feeling!?"  I know all of these things are irrational and just emotional things and I know full well the Lord will take care of my needs, especially if I ask in faith.
     One thing I do know for sure, is that when I start to feel the way I do, I need to look beyond myself and see that others need encouragement just as much as I do.  I need to refocus my attention on others rather than myself.  Easier said than done, but it must be done.

Questions I Often Ponder:
Can a mom still have a sense of self while being a mom?
How much time are you "allowed" to take for yourself to keep your own identity, especially in Christ?
If I take any time for myself does that mean I'm not giving my 100% all to my children, or is that impossible?

I am now officially 10 weeks and 1 day pregnant today! Double digits! Next goal...2nd Trimester!

4 comments:

  1. Hey Jenn I just started a Bible study by Beth Moore titled "Living Beyond Yourself" Not totally sure what it has in store for me but the very first teaching was on moods, I am captivated. Just wanted to share after reading your words about wanting to live beyond yourself.
    ~Angie

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  2. Thanks, Angie. Emotions can be tough to deal with sometimes and keeping your identity while being a stay at home mom can be a challenge. I appreciate your encouragement!

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  3. Based on your questions and thoughts it sounds like you need a bible study or even a Mom's group...somewhere to connect with other Moms who are going through a similar season of life. Do you have one at church that you can plug into? Or even within the community, I am in a ladies bible study one morning a week and although it's not geared to Moms it is geared towards women of the Lord...it's soo helpful. Not only do other Moms attend but there is childcare! I absolutely need that time away...specifically so I don't lose my identity both as a daughter of Christ AND as a wife to my husband..
    -Kim :-)

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  4. I def need more fellowship, it is just hard but not impossible, I know =)

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